Hamilton: A One Star Review

American, Bank, Banking, Banknote, Bill


I picture Lin-Manuel Miranda/Sitting in a swell veranda/sipping zinfandel with pandas/since he’s rich as hell and can ’cause/his recent ticket sales are ample

And the thought of his success fills me with a violent rage/since if I went to Richard Rodgers it would be a silent stage/because to afford the tickets I would need a higher wage

I hate that I’m unable to see the show that’s vaunted/It makes me feel like I’m a nematode – unwanted/And kinda makes me hope that the seats explode – of course when/It’s night and no one’s there, I’m no evil ogre monster

If I can’t see it, there’s no reason why I won’t assume/It is more appalling than Tommy Wiseau’s The Room

Yeah it’s awfulness is unparalleled/I hate it like teeth hate caramel/Other critics love, I don’t care, it smells/And should be under the sea like Ariel

It’s my blog and I can hate if I wanna/I bet Mr. Miranda once flayed an iguana/then tossed it in a cauldron, starting saying that blah blah/’Til the spell took effect and then Satan said “Mazel/Tov now you can be Broadway’s prima donna”

But he isn’t, he stays humble/which is more reason to grumble

And hate him and his production/Just ’cause millions have been sucked in/doesn’t mean you have to love it

Don’t get caught up in a fantasy/you can’t like what you cannot see

If I can’t see it odds are you can’t too/If I hate it, same should be true for you

So it’s just one star from me, although/This could change if I see the show


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s