Lil Nas X Yeets For A Minute In New Song

Rapper Lil Nas X has a new song, and this one is more unique than his other music because he spends half the song yeeting.

It’s a two minute song, as has become standard for young rappers these days, but what is not standard is that one of those minutes is spent yeeting.

Yeeting is one of those things which Generation Z does and no one outside of that generation fully understands, but essentially it is celebrating an accomplishment by saying yeet.

Despite the popularity of yeeting among this younger generation, there have been no major hit songs prominently featuring that word. But this could change if Lil Nas X’s new track tears up the charts.

How new is this song? Extremely new. It is so new that no radio DJ’s have heard it. It is so new that zero prominent music bloggers have considered blogging about it, since they too haven’t heard it. In fact, “Yeet For A Minute” is so new that Lil Nas X might not have even heard it.

You might ask, if the artist who performs it hasn’t heard it, is it his song? Does it even exist? The answer to that, of course, is heck yes! Heck Yes Newss will wager all its legitimate press credentials on the realness of this new Lil Nas X song. And to prove it is real, the lyrics are below.

Haters be hating they say I’m a pan flash
But I’ll stick around longer than a can rash
Y’all eat up my rhymes, my club bangers and mash
That’s why I stay fronting with no fear of backlash

I’m like DJ Khaled, all I do is win it
Is why I’ll get away with yeeting for a minute
Writing this song was easy as sin, it
Isn’t very challenging to yeet for a minute

Number one song
For very long
Still going strong
Bigger than Kong Kong
Big like a dugong
Yeah I said dugong
They’re sea cows I’m not wrong
Smash like in ping pong
They said I don’t belong
I proved them haters wrong
Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeeet
Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeet
Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeet Yeet
And now this song’s complete

Diddy Launches Tie or Die Campaign

The Internet – In response to the growing epidemic of people putting themselves in serious danger by not tying their shoelaces, prominent rapper, entrepreneur, and hyperbole enthusiast Sean “Diddy” Combs went on Twitter this afternoon to announce his new shoelace-tying initiative.

Diddy also announced he would be promoting his cause with a non-album single called “Tie Yo’ Shoes” in which he explains the importance of shoelace-tying to all people, but especially to young African-American males who identify with hip-hop culture, particularly its “gangsta” elements. There is no audio available, but he tweeted out a brief lyrical sample:

Those excited for the rest of the song will have to wait until it is released, and no other lyrics were leaked, but there is a decent chance Diddy will warn listeners sternly about taking a journey in a gurney. Even more likely, he might rhyme shoes with booze, since untied laces are especially perilous when mixed with alcohol. Also, uh. He is likely to say “uh” a lot.

Whatever lyrics are included in what seems likely to be Diddy’s most memorable song in years, it will help deliver a powerful message designed to combat a totally serious problem. And untied shoelaces are definitely a serious problem with potentially dire consequences, because otherwise there wouldn’t be so many people making a habit of pointing out untied shoelaces to total strangers.

While general opinion of the Tie or Die campaign seems to be positive, one Twitter user was not impressed:


As of 4:49 on February 3rd, Diddy is still planning on going forward with Tie or Die. But if he doesn’t, it is most likely due to intimidation by the Babadook, and not because there is any truth to allegations that this is all “fake news.” Because this is not fake news, it is totes real.


*Editor’s note: What was once called “TotesRealNews” is now “SuchRealNews.” The news is just as real as it always was, and where it says “Totesreal” in the text this can be mentally replaced with “suchreal” or “veryreal” or left as it is. But due to the high journalistic integrity of SuchRealNews, and definitely not laziness, all references to the previous name within articles will remain unchanged.