Awakened April Demon Demands Pranks

The Internet – The April Demon, a terrifying supernatural entity whose horrible rampages can only be prevented by basic human decency or pranks, has escaped its underground cell this year thanks to widespread xenophobia and other atrocities committed by governments worldwide. Some level of awfulness is possible without releasing the April Demon, but the threshold was surpassed this year for the first time in decades, and now the April Demon is outside.

Now that the April Demon has escaped, the only way it can be stopped is through pranks. Lots and lots of pranks. The April Demon has internet access and a Twitter account, as it needed some way to keep itself occupied during its long imprisonment, and now pranksters on Twitter and elsewhere must use their talents to keep the April Demon entertained and under control. Otherwise, the horrors which will be perpetrated will make even the saddest attempt at an April Fool’s joke seem hilarious and not-at-all painful in comparison.

It is often assumed that April Fool’s Day is a silly holiday celebrated for no good reason except to provide excuses to make terrible jokes and to lie about things which shouldn’t be lied about, but those who make such assumptions have forgotten about the April Demon. And one should not forget about the April Demon, because if it does not have its appetite for pranks sated through observing humans, then it will start playing pranks of its own. And the April Demon finds nothing more hilarious than giving someone their own small intestine to wear as a necklace.

The April Demon has escaped before, but it was always kept mostly in check through April Fools’ Day pranks. Once in a while the people did not do their part to prevent pranks by the April Demon, but those so-called-pranks by the demon were always dismissed as the work of a serial killer or a tyrannical government. And even if only one victim is claimed this time around, one disemboweled human is one too many.

Unfortunately, there could be more than one victim this time around if an effort is not made, as social media shaming for the holiday has increased in recent years, which hadn’t mattered before this year since the April Demon was still imprisoned. But now it does matter, and reluctance to make bad jokes could be catastrophic. And as previously implied, the April Demon does not have a sophisticated sense of humor, so the more terrible the joke or prank is the more likely the April Demon is to be entertained. So go ahead, pretend to be pregnant or mislead your social media followers into thinking you are getting a divorce. If you are posting from a corporate account, devastate the public by promising an amazing product which cannot realistically be produced. Maybe you will hurt someone, but whatever pain you cause will be far milder than the pain caused by a bored April Demon.

If the April Demon was as fake as many of the posts which will be made over the next 24 hours, then perhaps most people would be best off not observing April Fools’ Day. However, since the April Demon is totally real, all the temporary liars will be doing important work.

Prank on, pranksters.